Three years ago, I was devastated. My husband had just left me. I was a new mom who had just found myself alone and completely unsure of what direction my life was going to take as a result. As with any trauma, for a while all reason was lost, and I sort of thought time would freeze. Of course, life went on; it certainly didn't stop just because I was going through a tough time. For the last three years I took care of my son. I laughed and cried. I went to work and spent time with friends and family. I spent time alone, and I went to counseling. I also did whatever I could to grow in my relationship with God. I spent a lot of time reflecting and praying. I railed against God, I cried out to him, and I praised him.
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. (Romans 12:12)
I spent a lot of time reading two of my favorite books of the Bible Proverbs and Psalms. I love Proverbs for its blunt wisdom. The words in that book often helped me to feel that God related to my disbelief and righteous anger about what was happening in my life. On the other hand, Psalms is a book full of beautiful poems, songs and words that reveal feelings of hurt and healing. Through the Psalms, I felt like God understood my pain and gave me hope that even when life was difficult, he loved me. I began to feel like things would get better, and I felt closer to God than I probably ever have.
Looking back, strengthening my relationship with God strengthened me as a person. I learned to reach out, swallow my pride, and accept help when it was offered. I learned to focus on God and his provision, truly understanding what it meant to rely on his love, strength and grace instead of my own. I learned to forgive in a way I never had before. Focusing on God and being open to his plan and purpose allowed me to witness a beautiful miracle in my life.
Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. (Ephesians 3:20)
Because we wanted to provide as normal a childhood as possible for our son, over the past three years my ex-husband Brett and I spent a lot of time together. During this time, he was spending quality time with God as well. While I won't speak for his experience, I will tell you that I saw Brett growing and changing on a near-daily basis. The two of us began to enjoy time with each other. We had fun, supported one another through some difficult situations, and became real friends. I began to admire this man and feel my love for him grow again. I started to see that a future with him just might be possible. We began to see that, in the words of Pastor Voddie Baucham, "Love is an act of the will accompanied by emotion that leads to action on behalf of the object." Through God's Word and the wisdom of others, Brett and I have learned how to truly love one another.
And now, something has happened that can only be credited to God's amazing power and love for us. A month ago, surrounded by the very close friends who have walked beside us for the past three years, Brett and I were re-married! I feel so happy and blessed to call this man my husband. God, through his power, is still doing miracles beyond anything I could ever imagine, and we are proof of this!
