A couple years ago, my husband and I felt the need to have a more intentional community in our lives, but we weren't quite sure how to find it. We had been attending Eagle Brook for a few years, had served in various roles, and were also on staff. We knew people, but we didn’t feel genuinely connected with them. We were longing for more than recognizing familiar faces at church—we needed deep, authentic friendships. Friends we could learn and grow with, pray for and encourage, and just do life with.
So we decided to do something about it. We attended a connection event that autumn, and to our surprise, we met some couples we really enjoyed. And by the end of it, we decided to start a small group with them.
Our small group is made up of five couples and one baby. We study the Bible together, we pray for each other, we spend weekends at the cabin together, and we meet up for dinner and game nights. These people have become some of our very best friends.
But it took a long time to find this group of people. I had tried out two or three small groups throughout the past five years, none of which felt quite right. It was
In the years it took to find a small group, I learned a few things:
#1. Pray
God wants everyone to have friendships that lift us up and encourage us in our faith. But He wants to hear that you want it, too. Just like in any relationship, you want to hear first-hand what’s going on in someone’s life. In the same way, God wants to hear what you’re desiring directly from YOU.
So tell Him. Ask Him to lead you to new friends. Ask Him to give you wisdom and courage and an open mind. Set aside your expectations of what your “perfect” small group should look like, and trust Him to be faithful.
#2. Take A Step
A small group you love isn’t going to land on your doorstep—you have to do something in order to get connected. We met our small group at a connection event in 2015, and I’m so grateful we took the step and committed to putting ourselves out there and attending the 4-week event.
This October, Eagle Brook is hosting a short-term groups event across all seven campuses. You’ll meet for five weeks and go through Francis Chan’s study called The Book of James. Short-term groups are one of the best ways to meet people at your campus and connect in community.
You can learn more and register here.
#3. Persevere
Our instant-gratification culture isn’t going to like this one. But it’s true. You likely won’t find a group you click with right away. Good things take time. So don’t give up.
Keep reaching out to group leaders, keep trying out new groups, or maybe even keep meeting with your current group. Sometimes the people God chooses for us aren’t the people we would have chosen for ourselves. He doesn’t always give us the people we want, but He gives us the people we need.
Trust that God brings the right people into our lives at the right time. It took five years before we found a small group we love, and I’m so glad we persevered.
The hard work of finding a small group you love is so worth it. Ask God to lead you to the right group, consider participating in a short-term group in October, and persevere and trust in God’s faithfulness. He wants you to be in community.
